Katelin’s Memorial Service

On Sunday, we began to grieve and remember our beloved Katelin Williams, who died suddenly on Wednesday night, March 26. In place of a sermon, we had an open time of sharing and reflecting on Katelin’s life. Some of the elements from that service are below, and a recording of it can be found here.

Pastoral Prayer (Sheri)

A part of my personal prayer practice is praying while facing the four directions of east, south, west and north. It’s a practice I learned from my Native friend, Sarah Augustine, and it’s a practice that grounds us in creation. As our last hymn, “Rain Down” said, “Full of God’s love is the earth.” God’s love is actually in creation. This is also a practice our entire community — including Katelin — participated in during Advent. You are welcome to join me in standing and turning to the directions during this prayer or you are welcome, and I mean this, to stay seated.

We start with the east, which aligns with the element of air.

Let us pray.  Creator, we thank you that we rose to the new day this morning, that you have given us the breath of life for another day. We thank you for all the days that Katelin rose to life, and for all the years that we had with her. Thank you for gracing us with her life and with the life of the child, Enzo, that came from her and Steve. (I invite you in silence to thank Katelin for the life that she was to you.) 

We turn to the south, which aligns with the element of fire.

Creator, we thank you for all the fires of life — for the sun, which makes life on this planet possible, and for the fire of passion that moves us into life-giving actions and relationships.  Thank you for Katelin’s passionate love for her family, for her friends, for this community, and for the sacred work of building up the kindom of God on earth.  We know that for the last almost two years, Enzo was her special passion. We ask that you protect him from any harm to his spirt because of the Katelin’s passing. And because we know that death doesn’t end a relationship — it transforms it —  we ask that Enzo have a rich and vivid relationship with his mother in the months and years to come. May he experience her love through all the days of his life. Guide and comfort Steve as he parents Enzo. Give him wisdom, and strength, and many people to surround him and Enzo, which you already have done. (I invite you in silence to pray for Enzo and Steve.)

We turn to the west, which aligns with the element of water. 

Creator,  we thank you for all the waters of life that sustain and delight us and that sustained and delighted Katelin throughout her life. We thank you for emotions that move in us like water, sometimes turbulent, always flowing. We pray that you will be a stronghold and a guide through the turbulent waters of grief for Steve and Enzo, for Katelin’s parents Darren and Laura, for her sisters, for her extended family, for her friends, for this church community.  May we allow grief to flow through us, remembering that it is a sign we have loved and have been loved in return.  May we trust that grief has its seasons, and that it will not always be as overwhelming or unending as it may feel now. (I invite you silence to pray for all who are grieving or to ask for help for yourself as you grieve.)

We turn to the north, which aligns with the element of earth. 

Creator, we thank you for all the lands that nourish us and for the earth that fed and nourished Katelin. We know she loved your creation. We also know that we are made from the earth and that we will return to it one day. Now, we begin the process of releasing Katelin in her earthly form to you, her Creator, knowing that the love given and received never departs, never ends.  (I invite you to pray in silence.)

We turn to face the center of the circle.

Bountiful One, Source of life, we thank you because we have seen You in Katelin. We thank you for Your life in her, which we have received with joy. Even in our grief, help us see more deeply into the meaning of her life and our own and to grasp more firmly the hope that life is longer than our years and that love is stronger than death.  In the name of Christ, our Risen One. Amen.

Grief Music (Steve Garnaas-Holmes)

A friend is dying and I am sweeping the garage.

I am repairing the upper rack in the dishwasher

and he’s being detached from life support.

I am shopping, in the produce section,

looking for good organic baby spinach

and remembering to get shallots 

and his family are gathered around 

in that strange camaraderie of abysmal love and loneliness.

I am strangely here.

Life goes on, he has died, life is going on.

Loss is not an object we encounter, but a landscape.

The presence of an absence that haunts without leaving.

Grief is not a thing we have, 

like a stone in your pocket, or a boil; 

it’s music deep within us and around us,

music of love in the key of longing,

and sometimes we can’t help but sing along,

full throated, heads tipped back, 

because it’s all we hear, and at times

we just hum the tune while we go on with life.

But the music doesn’t stop, beautiful and sad and grateful,

and it makes us dance, even if we just sway a bit—

and always, just beyond our hearing,

God is singing with us.

Framing for the hymn “I Sing the Mighty Power of God” / Mourner’s Kaddish (Pat)

In the Jewish tradition, when someone dies it is customary for the community to recite the Mourner’s Kaddish. As many of you know, the Kaddish makes no reference to death, but is rather a prayer that praises and glorifies God. The understanding is that with the death of an individual, there is a profound diminishment of God’s universe. In its praise, the Kaddish is simultaneously a plea to ease this loss and an acknowledgment that nothing can ever truly make up for it.   With this in mind, we would like to begin today’s service with a beloved hymn from our tradition, which praises and glorifies God — I Sing the Mighty Power of God. 

Below is the page from the prayer book Siddur Congregation Sha’ar Zahav from which Pat drew the above: